How to Live a Life of Joy Following Grief

Today’s message is often a hard one no one wants to talk about.

Grief.

I mean really, what do you say when someone’s lost a loved one?

What can you even say to make it better, right, not so darn awkward?

Here’s the answer.

You can’t say anything.

You can’t do anything but be present for the person.

You can’t make it all better.

And that doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, depressing or scary. It’s simply about being.

Being present.

Either with someone, through their grief.

Or being present through your own trying times.

This is Jill here, over at AEIOU, and I’ve taken over this blog post of 28 Days To A Sexier More Joyful U! because our next guest touched me deeply as I listened in on Karen’s interview with her.

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See, I have experienced loss.

More than ten years ago, I lost my then fiancé in a tragic helicopter crash.

I learned about his passing via email, during a meeting at the local high school, where I was about to start teaching a new year.

There was a technical glitch with the projector, so while all the teachers in the room chatted away about their summer vacations, I happily turned behind me (we were in the computer lab) and logged-in to check my email.

As Chris, my fiancé was flying back to me, I knew there’d be something sassy, laugh-worthy and fun in my inbox from my obnoxious, lovable Brit.

Boy, was I wrong.

As my phone was locked away in my classroom, and I'd missed the half dozen calls, I'd been contacted by the next best method...email. 

I opened an email, with his name in the subject line, only to read that he was gone. Dead. Along with my “new” best friend, his assistant, James.

It was horrible.

It was numbing.

It was my body meeting the cold, concrete ground, outside the tech meeting door, after not even realizing I’d run from the room.

Now, you might be wondering, how in the world is this topic JOYFUL and that’s a perfectly great question.

For six months, there was no joy. I won’t lie.

There wasn’t joy for a year. For me. I was simply numb.

I was doing the exact things that our next guest in the 28 Days Series talks about.

I was afraid to smile, afraid to wear colors and scared, that by moving on, I’d be leaving them both behind.

When I did finally smile, I immediately felt immense guilt.

When I did laugh again, I immediately felt a wave of doubt - that laughing without Chris, without James, was somehow dishonoring them.

That I was supposed to be in grief, not living, not enJOYing my life, because to do so would be a complete betrayal to them both.

How wrong was I!

And even though my loss happened just over ten years ago, (and I’m now hitched to a wonderful Frenchman - yep, I like accents), I learned a few powerful things in this interview with Dr. Jane Simington, who also experienced great loss.

Our next guest is an amazing author, speaker and holds a PhD in, well, life and finding joy again after loss, as well as, all extensive learning!

Dr. Jane Simington lost her son when he was just 13. A devastating loss no mother, no parent, should ever have to suffer, and yet what she did in coming out of that grief, the path she chose to follow, is extraordinary.

She started helping others.

She started to find herself again, on purpose, as she talks about in this wonderful interview on a deep subject.

She is an amazing woman and watching this video may just bring you abundant JOY, whether the topic fits you, your life or not.

 

We don’t know the stories or losses experienced by most of those around us, and today’s message may just help you honor someone going through the grieving process when you step into a more confident you (Dr. Alan Boyer, Day 7); start re-inventing yourself (Gena Horiatis, Day 9); and learn something more about your neighbor, so you can have great relationships (Paul Hatch, Day 3).

Inside Dr. Jane goes into amazing details about what you can do now to help return to JOY, after grief, trauma or PTSD.

She descibes how 

  • Theraputic Art can heal
  • Changing the Beige in Your Life is a great sign
  • Color Therapy can help you dive deep into grief and come out the other side
  • Hypnosis and Deep Trance Work
  • The Importance of Yellow
  • How False Reassurances Stop Our Joy & Healing
  • The Importance of the "Now What?" Question

And more can help one heal and find JOY again.

Join Karen, my favorite bundle of energy, as she gracefully interviews Dr. Jane Simington, in a topic that might not seem JOYFUL, but by the end of this sixteen minute video, you will have a deeper understanding on grief and Living A Life Joy, On Purpose, Following Grief.

And if you are in the depths of loss, we support you and hope to honor you by sharing messages and teachings like today’s topic.

And tomorrow, after listening to our next interview, I encourage you to dance with us, even if for just a moment. You’ll understand that reference and the JOY it will bring when you open tomorrow’s 28 Days To A Sexier More Joyful U!

But first, come on inside 28 Days To A Sexier More Joyful U! series and get more enJOYment out of your life, no matter where on the journey you are.

Dr. Jane has some amazing advice and steps you can take that may just help you out of the dark and gracefully plant one toe into the light.

Or help you give that gift to another.

Support, love and joy are a powerful gift and when we can share them, well, the world simply changes.

To discover more about Dr. Jane Simington and her amazingness, you can find her online at TakingFlightInternational.com and you may want to check out a few of her books.

Healing Soul Pain 
Journey to the Sacred: Mending a Fractured Soul 
Responding Soul to Soul: During Times of Spiritual Uprooting  

Karen Urbanek